I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize