sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
