you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
