how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
