It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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