I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
