insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
