Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
