he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
