Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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