dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
