Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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