you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
