"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
