I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
