i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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