you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
