try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
