Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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