God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
