Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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