Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
