I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
