At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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