i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
