Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
