I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
just tell him i said nine months
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
