well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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