I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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