And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just want to make out with him forever
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
