new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
