your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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