my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
