dude i'm inner monologue high
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
My dick has a subreddit
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
