We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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