I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
