bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
