I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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