But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
