Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
