I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
