you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
