Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
