I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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