Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
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