Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
