Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
