..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
