yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The feeling are messing with the penis
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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