i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
