I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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