More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
