i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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