you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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