im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
