You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
