Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
