So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
