grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
