Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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