Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
