I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
