I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
