But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we have officially lost it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
