Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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