This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I love you.
Bad choice
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
