apparently the secret to your success is patron
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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