I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
