You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize