What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
